When I was in Junior High, I made my first BFFN. I had to move to another city and I did not see her again until 2006, when I finally met her husband and two kids. That was also the last time I saw her physically. I now get to see her kids grow up via Facebook. I made an instant friendship with a beautiful soul when I was 18. If I didn’t move to Virginia we would have ruled the Bay Area together. Thank goodness for MySpace and Facebook, we get to keep in touch, although I still have yet to see her physically. I had a friend once that I believed was my “soul mate” friend. In 2004, she moved away and I had no contact with her until last year when I found her on Facebook. I then find out she’s now married and is expecting her first child.
I left many best friends behind in Virginia Beach when I moved to California. None of them got to see me get married, attend my baby shower, nor visit me at the hospital when my first child was born. I’m now in the process of closing on a house that they will more than likely never see. Come to think of it, if it weren’t for Facebook, I will not be in contact with most of them because I can almost guarantee you that most of them will never pick up the phone to actually call me regularly. And why is that? Because of the distance? Did I miss a fine print somewhere? You know, the one that says, “hey, let’s be friends, we’re gonna have so much fun together, hang out with each other all the time, we’ll laugh and cry together and be there for each other no matter what, but ONLY if you stay within my vicinity.”
So what does this mean? Has Facebook or any other social media become substitutes for friendship? Is leaving posts on someone’s wall make up for the missed phone call? Is commenting on your pictures and your status enough to sustain a friendship? Really? Why can’t we put more efforts on our friendships just like we do with our romantic relationships? Sure you don’t get to kiss or have sex with your friends (at least you’re not suppose to) but aren’t they worth making that phone call and/or visit to? What has really changed in the friendship besides the geographic separation? Do you actually believe that talking to someone once or twice a year forms a friendship? Do you not realize how much can happen in a year and how much you’ve missed out on? We’re not talking about people who you went to elementary school with that you have not seen nor spoken to in years. We’re talking about people who got to experience life with you. People who were there for you through good and bad. People that answered your call in the middle of the night while you were crying and would wake up the next morning thinking of ways to put a smile on your face. People that held up your hair while throwing up from a drunken night. These are the people who stood by you, without judgment, and accepted you for who you are and all your foolishness. Are they not deserving to hear your voice more often or perhaps see your face?
Is spending $300 for a roundtrip ticket inconceivable for a friend? Why is that? You would hop on a plane in a heartbeat if it were a romantic interest. Is it money issues? Lets see. If one saves a dollar everyday they would accumulate a whopping $365 a year. So you might have to miss out on a few trips to Starbucks but what’s the opportunity cost? You get to see your dear friend! But I don’t know. I guess I’m just starting to figure out what true friendship really looks like. And it isn’t the distance because I have a friend that moved away in August, who has already visited me once and we still call each other almost every day, all the while being Facebook friends. So what’s the real excuse? Or could it be me? Should I just accept the fact that maybe I was nothing more than just their “Best Friend For Now?” That I brought something in to their lives when they needed it most and that moment has now passed? Maybe. And maybe I ought to think about it the same way. So all I can really do now is forever cherish those memories and be thankful for the moments I got to share with them. The bottom line is, life goes on and everyone’s too busy to maintain long distance friendships. It’s hard work. I guess that’s why they invented social medias and texting. You can announce anything of importance going on in your life in masses. How cool is that? Who has the time anymore to actually call every single person of significance to you? Seriously. I’m way too busy staring at the wall.
